Thursday, February 18, 2010

A shoulder to cry on

Hello..

I'm now writing from my school's desktop, haha..running from my unreliabale ACER zaman tok kadok because hubby brought his HP to work..I supposed to do some marking, but I chose to update my blog. (Betapa tak fokusnya cikgu ini..)

Hey, what made me here?I mean school??mm, to be honest it is just because I need some space to write, I mean to let my feeling off!!that's the truth. About marking, PEKA, Fail Kebersihan, question papers etc. I can simply bring it home and do it..BUT I'm still here in front of my pc just to share a story..a story about my spa..

I seldom write or tell about my spa because I dont really like people to know any problems occur in my business.And being a businesswoman (so called), I believe that I need to be strong to face any obstacles and unexpected problems that sometimes really ruin my mood n energy!!Exhausting!!

What happened today? I went to spa and do some clerical thingy, (biase la ntah ape2 je la yg I akan buat kan)..and when I was about to leave my spa, I saw Akma (my staff) watery eyes..I stood in front of her and asked why..she refused to talk, n I knew she tried to hold her tears..Well, I let her cry for few seconds before asking her again..waited patiently n she finally told me abot her worries..(which actually is something that I'm worrying about too!!)She's worrying about the fact that we havent got any new beautician to replace those who had left us for studies n etc (I do not want to elaborate)..It's ok readers, I'll take care of it.This is not my very first time facing and handling those troubles..I called my mom 2 days before to tell her, "Mak, kita dah tak larat dah mak..dah jadi lali dah..mcm2 dah berlaku pun..", n my mom as always will text me later, "be tough, good girl"..Well, she still call me a girl (I love you Mak)..

My point is, Akma can cry and I can be her shoulder to cry on..she still have the tears to cry..n she still have me to listen..what about me??I takut nak fikir sebab kenapa I dah tak boleh nak nangis, sometimes I think I'm just too egoist to cry..or is it becaused I had lost my feelings??My neighbour had once said,"Jangan biarkan diri Seri jd sampai xde perasaan..hati kering jer."

Oh no..I was driving to school just now carrying all those emotional baggage (nie pun satu masalah gak, bawak kereta dgn minda ntah kat mana2)..Ye ke aku nie dah tak de perasaan??or I just have to be strong to face everything??I need a shoulder to cry on...

Ya Allah, begitu sarat mindaku, bantulah dan ringankanlah..

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bukan Kemahuan Fikiran

This is what I DONT LIKE!!!
My hubby went off to work,n me living all alone in the middle of nowhere..
So, I ended up searching songs from Youtube n listened to it. This week had somehow turned to be Fauziah Latif week..I listened to all the songs that I used to get hooked up to when I was a teenager. Zaman jiwang karat, zaman when u listen to songs that will make u feel motivated or delighted, (Ye ke??)hehe..n hanyut dibuai asmara juga..haha..

N this lyrics is relly meaningful to me (once, n maybe for now as well..)

Aku relakan kau pergi dari sisi hatiku
Begini lama setelah tiada jalan penyudah
Jiwa yang hampa kan bertanya apa masih
Percintaan bukanlah kemahuan fikiran
Di perasaan tersimpan segalanya rahsia
Dan tiada dapat kutahankan rindu itu
Di antara kita bicara berbeza
Siapa yang merasa dia melara
Tiada upaya menahan derita
Cinta yang hampa
Seraut wajahmu yang paling indah
Walau ia ________ di hati ini
Seterusnya hidup bersimpul di dalam diri ini
Terlepaslah diriku dari rindu yang sarat
Aku kini tenggelam dalam sendu berbisa selamanya


Wah, I boleh tulis lirik tu without listening to it??sangat hafal?sangat bermakna kah?

Aku bagaikan sebutir pasir, yang lemah lagi kerdil.

About Me

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I'm a dedicated teacher at the same time a not so vogue spa owner, I'm a spa lover, a pinkaholic and very loveable person!